Performance Issues
by izzabella11
Summary: Tony has an unexpected problem in bed. Things only get worse from there... Tony/Loki oneshot


**Note: I do not own the Avengers, Marvel Comics, any of the actors or anything associated with them. Obviously. This is not suitable for under 17s and contains scenes of a graphic nature, no likey no...readey.**

It had been a normal, quiet night for Tony Stark. The better half of a bottle of very fine scotch, an inebriated roll back to his apartment with a moderately attractive lady - tumbling into bed trying trying trying to clear his mind with sex, trying to turn off the constant mechanics and equations and fine-tuning for projects long since discarded...brushing his lips against her collar bone, feeling her hands run through his hair, and still his mind whirred and hummed with activity.

Hands sliding under clothes, undoing buttons and zips and buckles, nails on his back, lips closing over his messily, canting his hips up to feel the friction...

and then...

"Well. This has never happened before..."

**Flashback 3 hours...**

Tony rolled his shoulders back, feeling the muscles tense and relax, joints popping under the stretch. It had been a long day - no, a long week - and as far as he was concerned there was nothing he deserved more than this fine scotch on the rocks and the beautiful young lady draped over his shoulder trying to seem different to all of those who had gone before.

"It must be amazing being you" she breathed, the tickling sensation on his earlobe making up for her tedious and unoriginal comment, "to be so talented and brave and popular and..."

He cut her off by turning to face her, schooling his face into a mask of politeness and eying her up as subtly as he could. Probably in her late 20s she was wearing a little too much makeup but relatively pretty nonetheless. Her dress was cut deliberately low enough to reveal some cleavage but not so low as to seem tacky; hair curled but lacking the health and gloss of a younger woman; eyes unnaturally bright with contact lenses.

She was no keeper, but she was a warm body and he was taken by an urge to leave this ridiculous party with these ridiculous people. This woman, whose name he couldn't even remember, seemed to be his ticket out. So, turning on the famous Stark charm he offered her his arm, fed her some bullshit line about wanting to hear about her thesis/job/ex-boyfriend, and summoned his driver to take them back to the penthouse.

From there, it all got a little bizarre...

**Present moment**

He took a deep, soothing breath. And then another. Closed his eyes, kneaded at the lids with his palms until stars exploded in front of his vision (and godammit he had been hoping for a more fun use for that metaphor tonight), opened his eyes again.

His ladyfriend propped herself up on one elbow, the side of her breast grazing his chest deliberately. She licked her lips seductively, letting the point of her tongue linger in the corner of her mouth, and still...

"I mean, this really never has happened to me before" he said, aware there was a note of desperation to his tone. Under the covers his cock lay unresponsive and obnoxious, refusing him any kind of pleasure for the night.

She sighed, disappointed, and rolled over, drawing the covers up to her chest.

"Yeah, well," she breathed, and a smile spread over her face, straight white teeth and mischievous eyes, "Performance issues..."

The breath left Tony's chest in a sudden rush, eyes widening involuntarily in panic. Blasé he might be, but given that last time he'd uttered those words he'd been thrown out of a window the phrase had kinda stuck with him. And now...now, he had a very bad feeling.

The woman laughed mirthfully, stretching herself long and lean against him, and as she did so he felt her breasts shrink and flatten into a lean chest, muscle develop along her arms and back and finally, horrifyingly, her feminine features shifted and morphed into an all too familiar face, feral smile still in place, sharp eyes drinking in his discomfort and, more worryingly, strong hands pinning him to the mattress.

He cycled through possible escape routes in his head, discarding each as quickly as it popped into his mind. The God of Mischief for goodness sake - he was unlikely to outfox him even on his vainest and most intelligent day.

"I wouldn't try to escape" said Loki smoothly, as though reading his mind, "Humans are so very vulnerable when it comes to sex. No metal suit to save you now, Mr Stark."

Tony swallowed hard and searched for words.

"Er...why..."

"Why am I here? Why am I in your bed? Why would I...spoil your night?"

"Um yeah. Let's start with that."

Loki's smile widened and he straightened up, waving his hand at Tony, who to his credit wasn't overly surprised at magical bindings tying him to the bed, arms and legs spread and head pulled back against the pillows. It wasn't like it would be the first time he'd wake up to Pepper untying him disapprovingly, and if it wasn't for the potential mortal peril he'd probably quite enjoy it...

...he snapped his attention back to the present as the bindings tightened almost uncomfortably, tracking Loki across the room with his eyes. He was half naked, wearing only black trousers, and sinuously comfortable in his body - hardly rippling with muscles as Thor was, but lean and pale and surprisingly touchable. Not that Tony would want to touch him. Even by his inappropriate standards, vengeful Norse Gods truly were off limits. Especially the ones who usually tried to kill him.

Loki's eyes raked up and down Tony's torso, making him feel a) deeply uncomfortable and b) very glad the comforter was covering his lower half. The other man stood by the window, turning to look out at the city lights for a moment before returning his attention to Tony.

"I felt that we had unfinished business" he said, "I didn't appreciate the 'performance issues' quip."

Tony tried not to choke, and in doing so managed to make a high pitched strangled noise

"You threw me out of the window! I would have thought that would have made things a little even"

Loki considered that for a second, looking as though he was enjoying the recollection.

"That is true. And you did risk your life destroying those who would have seen me die a painful death at the failure of my task."

"..Yeah, cos that was definitely my primary motivation" he muttered, physically unable to keep his sodding mouth shut when he should.

Loki's lip quirked.

"I have not come here to kill you, Tony Stark."

"More reassuring comment coming from someone other than the God of Lies..."

This time Loki actually laughed outright, making him look much younger and less...evil.

"Understandable. But consider that if that had been my intention we would not be having this conversation right now."

Well, it was hard to argue with that. Tony tested his bonds lightly, pointlessly, finding himself still captive.

"So what's the masterplan now? Payback for the performance issues complete - and let me tell you this is WAY more embarrassing than your wand malfunction - you're not going to kill me - so what now?"

"Well, you offered me a drink last time..."

"And I'd do so again but I am somewhat indisposed at the moment."

Loki moved over to the cabinet and poured himself a generous shot of whisky, licking his lips as he knocked it back, pouring another and giving it the same treatment.

"Um...more of a sipping drink...traditionally..."

Loki turned back, his eyes suddenly sharp and focussed.

"Where are my manners? Would you care for some?"

It sounded like a trick question. It looked like a trick question. It sure as hell felt like a trick question. But it was also damn good whisky, so Tony nodded hopefully and watched the other man approach, all sleek lines and grace. He sat on the edge of the bed and took another sip, appraising Tony. Head pinned back to the pillows there was no way he was getting a drink without choking on it, unless...

Tony's breath caught in his throat as Loki dipped his forefinger into the glass and held it expectantly to Tony's lips. He let his tongue dart out, swiping the first drop of liquid before sucking on the fingertip lightly and releasing it.

"Good" murmured Loki, his eyes half lidded, "Again."

Two fingers this time, and from his prone position Tony sucked slightly harder this time, running his tongue between the digits and allowing his teeth to scrape the tips. The bed shifted slightly under Loki's weight as the god let out a soft sigh and sat back, allowing Tony to continue manipulating his fingers for a few moments before he pulled his hand away, shifting his weight onto Tony's lap and pressing his thumb to the corner of his jaw. With a rush, all his blood flowed south, leaving him light headed and achingly hard, trying not to arch his hips up.

"Did you use magic to..."

"Make my point? Yes, that is rather my style."

Tony closed his eyes, torn between laughing and screaming.

"Well, thanks for resolving it."

"To my benefit, I can assure you" breathed Loki, rocking his hips and making Tony's eyes roll into the back of his head with the friction. His long pale hands clutched at Tony's hips, high spots of colour dancing on his cheeks.

"So, sex with a God..."

"Definitely one for the to-do list" agreed Loki, his smooth tone slightly breathless

"Probably better if I have the use of my hands"

Loki looked to consider that for a moment, and with a jovial smile released him before bring his lips crashing down on Tony's, kissing him until he was almost light headed from it. A strange breathy moan escaped, and it took Tony a second to realise that it had been him. His back arched almost against his will, grinding his erection against Loki, who was still ridiculously overdressed for the occasion.

He fumbled helplessly with the other man's belt for a few moments before his hands were knocked away and the infuriating clothes removed. Greedily he grasped at Loki's cock, relishing in the feel of the hot skin against his hand and the catch in his breath as Tony's thumb swiped over the head. Taking advantage of his freedom he slid down the bed, watching Loki's stomach muscles contract as his stubble brushed the inside of his leg and then spasm as he licked an obscenely broad trail up the length of his cock before taking it into his mouth. Loki gasped, back arching, cool resolve shot to hell, hands tangling in Tony's hair.

"What is this magic?" he moaned, whining angrily as Tony pulled back.

"Ancient human custom" he said glibly, sliding his lips back down and making a contented humming noise in the back of his throat, knowing the vibrations would drive the god mad.

"Good to know your race is good for something" he replied in a strained tone, and swore under his breath as Tony took him even deeper in his mouth.

"Enough. On your knees."

Tony was no person to be ordered around, particularly in bed, but faced with a potentially lethal, horny Norse god, now seemed like a good time to learn obedience and he slid to his knees, fighting the urge to wrap his hand around his neglected cock. He was glad afterwards that he hadn't, as Loki pressed against him from behind, his cock nestling in the cleft of Tony's arse and his cool hand wrapping around his cock, twisting and squeezing lightly in a way which, happily, did leave him seeing stars.

He almost didn't notice probing fingers until one curled and hit the sweet spot that had him rocking back against Loki and moaning wantonly

"Please, please do that again..."

Loki went one better, using his other hand to pull Tony's hair back and biting down hard at the junction of his neck and shoulder at the same time as he stroked over his prostate and with a yelp which turned into a moan Tony came hard, semen splattering over his stomach and bedclothes. Limp with exhaustion and relief he sagged against Loki, trying to catch his breath, but the god wasn't done with him. Another finger, slick with something Tony certainly didn't have in his bedroom, stretched him out, teasing and moving, and Loki was whispering words in his ear that made no sense but had his cock stirring again, arousal heightening his sense so that even the feel of Loki's lips on his ear had him breathing harshly.

A hand on the back of his neck had him leaning forward subserviently and with smooth movement Loki sank into him, silent apart from a hissed intake of breath as Tony involuntarily clenched around him. They sat like that for a few seconds, both adjusting to the feeling before Tony twisted his hips back and to the side, desperate for some kind of friction. The brush against his prostate had him throwing his head back and moaning wantonly and Loki grasped his hips tightly, bringing his hips back and sliding in again. Tony's eyes rolled back into his head, he could feel it, and he bit his lip to stop the stream of babble that was dying to come out (). Loki's thrusts were slow and controlled enough to keep him teetering on the edge of ecstasy and when he was sure he had a tight enough grip on Tony to stop him moving he slid a hand round to grasp the other man's erection, sliding down from tip to root as he pushed in simultaneously.

"Uuunnnghhh"

Loki leaned forward, ever in control, and breathed "You're going to have to beg harder than that my dear"

Tony's head dropped forwards, his throat swollen and eyes heavy with frustration.

"Please, Loki" he said grudgingly

Loki slid out and in again sharply, twisting his hand, and stilled.

"Is that it?" he asked in a faux disappointed, sugar-sweet tone

"Please fuck me Loki. Properly."

The jibe had its intended result and this time Loki slammed into Tony, chest pressed to his back as the smaller man's resolve fled and he whimpered and chanted a litany of pleas and begs

"Don't stop, don't stop, please oh god, so, AHHH! Don't stop, feels so fucking good, LOKI!"

"Good" he murmured, pressing his lips to the bite mark he had left previously and swiping his tongue over the skin before applying his hand back to Tony's cock

The sensory combination of tongue and hand and cock slamming into him was too much,and with what could only be described as a wail Tony came like a rocket, spasms wracking his entire body and leaving him trembling as he heard and felt Loki empty himself inside him with a low groan and the utterly bizarre feeling of a cock pulsing inside him.

There was a pause of several minutes before Loki moved, pushing Tony forwards and pulling out, causing both of them to hiss at the sensation.

"So, I guess you're not one for spooning" deadpanned Tony, lifting his hands in mock surrender when Loki rounded on him hand extended. The god quirked a smile as he used his magic to clean them both up and Tony had the grace to look abashed.

Then, to his absolute shock, Loki rotated himself around so he was leaning against the bedhead and pulled Tony into his chest with one arm.

"As humans go, you are not...intolerable" he admitted. "I must confess to having been curious to try this with you."

"And?"

"And I would be amenable to doing it again" he said casually, as though gods propositioned mortals for gay sex every day.

Tony considered it. Loki was dangerous, volatile, had killed men for the sheer pleasure of it. Was a sworn enemy of the majority of the people he would call friends, and wow would Pepper not be happy. It was an absolutely ridiculous idea, one that would not end well in any universe let alone this one...

"Sounds good to me" he murmured agreeably, nestling his head against Loki's chest and sighing.

After all, what was a bit of catastrophically bad decision making when you could have sex that great?

-fin-

**With many thanks to the wonderful XxMildredxX who reminded me that I do occasionally write and inspired me to do so again!**


End file.
